Realization I'm currently in hell

After so many years of a blanking haze, engaged in reading elaborately arranged inks printed on highly-processed trees ("books"), and so many other human-centric socio-psychological processes that are deficient in its balance to and connection with the environment or Nature (like Sadhguru's "Dirty Logic" poem suggests), my eyes have only recently and gradually opened to the truth of our reality (even before this covid pandemic, and this nightmarish 2020 year for many), and as I realize such an imbalanced, environmentally destructive and unsustainable human-built environment,

(what DGR group refers to as "industrial civilization") I straightforwardly perceive I'm in hell - a hell that I can and am getting out of though.*  With Light, I now (more) clearly see so many wrong, imbalanced, adharmic, ignorant behaviors that support and are supported by that misguided force (of this human-built environment) (that I also refer to in the blog below, Mumford's and South Park's references).

Yet sometimes, upon reflection, at a deeper level, why am I / are we existing in this undesirable situation?  What is the good side of this, that perhaps we are needing to learn something, or feel the pain for our soul or conscience to avoid getting into in the future?.. It may vary from person to person, may be dynamiComplicated/reflexive like "Heisenberg's uncertainty principle," so can't say too much here, but in a basic sense, it can be known from outside or within, and it seems like chanting the gayatri mantra is one way to know it from within.

*(not to make "light" of it, but) yes, that was 1 sentence... but what's the (meaning of) sentence!

July '22 update:

examples of (unsustainably) burning plants, crops, or cutting trees for biofuel in such a manner contributing to hellish conditions?

(from Mongabay article)

How BLM and ALM has become the same thing now

"Black Lives Matters" (BLM) has now become the same as "All Lives Matters" (ALM) in our evolution of human consciousness to the extent the unique historical African-American slavery experience corresponds to "all's" current experience of slavery (albeit in a different form) to a*... less healthy/sane/desirable way of life we have been just taking for granted

*Lewis Mumford (and even the popular cartoon "South Park", Wal-Mart episode) explained it well in "Authoritarian and Democratic Technics" essay:

"The center of authority in this new system is no longer a visible personality, an all-powerful king: even in totalitarian dictatorships the center now lies in the system itself, invisible but omnipresent: all its human components, even the technical and managerial elite, even the sacred priesthood of science, who alone have access to the secret knowledge by means of which total control is now swiftly being effected, are themselves trapped by the very perfection of the organization they have invented…"

Note: Deep environmentalist, author Derrick Jensen made me aware of this brilliant essay, and there happens to be a interesting/surprising connection of his !earlier-than-george-floyd's-death 8:46 long youtube video "lack of pandemics"

A Scale of Sex-related Energies (with "how to direct such energies best" update)

A scale of Sex-related Energies

(Levels -7 to +1)
also posted (with survey) on NoFap website

Sadhguru's explanation of sexuality's expression of Life energy (Jan '23 update)

-7 problematic porn addiction that has had huge negative impact on one’s life (an example of how bad it can get would be that one changes their gender and becomes literally like an animal pet to another)

-6 problematic porn addiction that of course negatively impacts one’s life

-5 though maybe not exactly an addiction, consumption of so much porn that has a significant impact on one’s everyday life

-4 though maybe it is not understood as a clinical health problem that should be remedied, the consumption of porn (and masturbation/fapping) does significantly draws away one’s sexual/mental energies (note: “sexual” energies goes with masturbation/fapping, and “mental” energies especially goes with consumption)

-3 porn (and fapping) harms ones sexual or mental energies as they consume it sometimes

-2 porn (and fapping) still harms ones sexual or mental energies as they consume it occasionally

-1 no porn consumption, but occasional masturbation (including from (just/porn in) imagination) (note: of course, one can have no porn consumption and very frequent-to-addictive masturbation, and that could be described in the levels above (or really more negative, “below”), but for the sake of clarity, we’ll simplify the assumption here)

0 (“sea level”) - no masturbation, but occasional wet dreams

+1 no wet dreams because the mind (and its energies) are attuned to a higher focus, like a spiritual purpose (probably can develop special/magical power, like Dr. Savant I imagine, for example.  Also the actual sexual abilities are important to note; in other words, a sexually unattractive person may not really qualify for very positive point here)

Reflection of how to direct such energies best

(Febuary 2024 update)

so when no more in the negative, keeping the aforementioned Sadhguru video in mind, consider what is that "higher focus"...

note/warning?: potentially reflexive-dynamic rating

1 - for own self (with a less mature, hedonistic pleasure associated with it)

2 - for a woman/another

3 - for many women/others

4 - for all women/people or for a/the cause

5 - for all

notes: 2-5 may also have the selfish desires mentioned in 1 associated with it too. this reflection is for myself, but to the extent it can help others..

How much self-control do you have?

How much self-control do you have? (0-10 scale)

In this imbalanced, overly-human-built environment that enables unnatural, unhealthy, bad habits

I am 4 - 8, usually 5 or 6, and hope to be 5-8, especially 6 or 7 in future

0 – abnormal, retarded development like a mental/physical handicap

1 – worse than animal because this person also takes enabling or deliberate, stupid risks

2 – basically like an animal, like “I need a master to control me”

3 – usually like an animal, like “I need to have laws and social order”

4 – sometimes like an animal, like “Sometimes I need to get away from the social good and upliftment with down-taking, usually pleasure seeking behaviors (sex, alcohol, toxic foods, cigarettes, other drugs, etc.)

5 – a more passive-flexible control, with as much control as needed to keep balance in this dynamiChanging social world

6 – a more active-flexible control, “I take or give up control strategically as I intelligently-responsibly recognize others need me to do so (toward better social harmony/order)”

7 – I control and make myself in such a way that others do not even (need to) determine me or my behaviors to begin with

8 – I can do Sadhguru’s pratyahara exercise!

9 – I have mastered that exercise, and like a demigod, can do it with my most tantalizing objects of desire right in front of me

10 – Like a God (Nataraja), I can do Sadhguru’s pratyahara execise even if the whole external world was about to be destroyed